Meltdowns are an issue in autism and Asperger's. They can be lava-flowing, frothing-at-the-mouth, prolonged, violent, destructive, and frightening to those witnessing them. Happily, mine don't come near the point where they could melt glass.
In children, meltdowns are distinct from temper tantrums. A child in the throes of a tantrum will occasionally look to see if they're getting the desired reaction from adults. They'll have enough control over their tantrum that they'll take care not to hurt themselves. A child throws a tantrum to achieve a specific goal, and once the goal is met, they calm down.
A meltdown in an autistic child is another matter entirely. It's a total loss of behavioral control, though it can be triggered because a specific desire isn't granted, but giving the child what they want doesn't end the meltdown. It has to wind down on its own. A child in the throes of a meltdown has no awareness of caring for her or his safety.
I've talked to adults with Asperger's who struggle to control meltdowns. Some have learned to recognize the signs of an impending meltdown, and they've learned to minimize them or to excuse themselves from company if they feel one coming on. We've talked about what triggers them, and for everyone the triggers are different.
When I visit online autism and Asperger's forums, people talk about meltdowns as if they're part of the genetic package of autism or Asperger's. I suspect that there is more to it. Stephen Borgman, a psychotherapist who treats children on the autism spectrum, writes that he sees three possible causes for meltdowns: sensory overload, social challenges, and long term stress.
I question the claim that meltdowns are a genetic trait of the autism spectrum. I say that because they don't beset just autistics and Aspies.
I had a maternal aunt, no longer living, who was born profoundly deaf. I learned about the deaf community by becoming acquainted with her deaf friends and by reading about deaf culture. I learned that deaf people are notorious for displaying blistering meltdowns. The reason for this could not be genetic because the causes of their deafness vary. They reach a meltdown point more quickly than the hearing do because going through life deaf in a world of hearing people is a hard life. To a much greater degree than Aspies do, they struggle to communicate with people who possess one critical sense they lack, and we the hearing make almost no effort to accommodate them. They're under constant and severe stress just to get through a day, just to navigate this world. It doesn't take as much in someone under that degree of strain for them to get pushed over the edge and to descend into a meltdown. A former colleague of mine once managed the concessions at a college for the deaf. She told me that repairs to vending machines far exceeded those of any other institution where she worked because of frequent student meltdowns. If a vending machine took their money and didn't dispense a product, students often vented their fury on the machine.
Dr. Borgman is right to cite causes other than genetics for meltdowns in autism. The stereotype many people have of Aspies as cold and unfeeling is deeply hurtful; to the contrary, our emotions are intense, as are our sensory reactions to the world around us. Sound, activity, sights, smells, touch--all of that registers with us more intensely than it does with NTs. I sometimes wish I could have an NT who doubts that take my brain for a test drive to see how much more intensely I feel everything around me and in me. We've also got the stress of social challenges to cope with. We have to deal with the people in our lives who take it out on us because they don't "get" us. This is every waking hour, unless we're alone. Any one person can endure only so much stress before they reach a breaking point. We reach ours more quickly and more intensely because our lives bring a lot of stress.
I don't have meltdowns often. My most recent meltdown was about a year ago. I'd gone to the Philadelphia Revenue Department to make a tax payment in person. After a long wait in the cashier's line, the cashier told me I couldn't pay my taxes with the form the tax office had sent me in the mail. I had to go to a separate line and get a bill printed out first. I did that, and then returned to the cashier's line. By now I'd spent over an hour trying to pay the tax and comply with the law. When I reached the till for the second time, the cashier looked at the bill and said she still wouldn't accept it because a part of the bill hadn't printed out properly. She told me to return to the other line and get a second bill printed out. My lava started to flow, and it wasn't pretty.
I've got a bag of tricks that keeps meltdowns in the deep freeze most of the time. Vigorous exercise, walking, keeping a journal, meditation, yoga, deep breathing, and giving myself permission to go off for some solitude when I need it, all help. Then too, so do the supportive people in my life who have my back. They may not always understand my inner life. But even if I don't have a ready, coherent answer for their gentle "What can I do to help?", they help me to keep my psychic temperature somewhere below simmer.
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